Ignorant and Uninformed

Matt Riley wants to know about resistentialism and which inanimate objects would be the worst to deal with if they sentient. What if your shower had the personality of a pervey homeless dude? Do all pickles sound like Will Ferrel playing Harry Caray? Don’t you think all Segways are named Lance and wear a scarf? Remember :

1) Indiana Jones is an artifact collector, not an archeologist. 2) Watch out for Mini Coopers in a bar. 3) Don’t make any sudden movements or loud noise around helicopters. — It’s the truth about people on vacation, the pretentiousness of palm trees, and the motivation and altruism of tomatoes this week on I and U. You’re grandpa is like a toaster oven.


Topic – Which inanimate objects would be the biggest assholes?

From – Riley