Matt Riley wants to know about resistentialism and which inanimate objects would be the worst to deal with if they sentient. What if your shower had the personality of a pervey homeless dude? Do all pickles sound like Will Ferrel playing Harry Caray? Don’t you think all Segways are named Lance and wear a scarf? Remember :

1) Indiana Jones is an artifact collector, not an archeologist. 2) Watch out for Mini Coopers in a bar. 3) Don’t make any sudden movements or loud noise around helicopters. — It’s the truth about people on vacation, the pretentiousness of palm trees, and the motivation and altruism of tomatoes this week on I and U. You’re grandpa is like a toaster oven.


Topic – Which inanimate objects would be the biggest assholes?

From – Riley